Monday, December 24, 2012

Holiday Gifts to Avoid 2012

Christmas is tomorrow and hopefully all your shopping is done. But even more importantly, hopefully you've avoided the following list of gifts!

First up, let's take a look at this nice gift idea: a black cotton mac from (drum roll, please)... Pretty Green!
A cotton mac for the wealthy Oasis-obsessed Mod set.
I can't believe I'm going to say this but this isn't a bad piece of coat. Yup, a Pretty Green item I actually don't think is that bad. Nice, short collar with side pockets and epaulets. A step up from a parka if you're looking for protection from stormy weather. There's only one tiny snag in this little coat: it costs $1,100! Yes, you read that right: ONE-THOUSAND, ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. Pretty Green, are you for real? If ANY of you have the money for a gift like this, don't be stupid. Please use it for a gift certificate to your local tailor instead. Seriously, for that kind of money you could probably get an even more stylish jacket made to your specifications PLUS a tab-collar shirt to boot!

One for the ladies. So, you think you look 'mod.' You think you dance 'mod.' You think you pose 'mod' in all your Facebook profile pics. But guess what. You probably don't smell 'mod'! Well, now you can fix that with this offering from Avon:
The essence of a "60's mod" bottled up.
And this stuff just won't make you smell like any ol' mod. Nope, you'll be engulfed in the aroma of actual "60's mod". Personally, I don't know what that's like, seeing as I was born a few years after the sixties ended. But this little item might just complete your total vintage experience. You're at a club and spot some gal who thinks she looks like Peggy Moffitt. She's out there doin' her Sandy Sarjeant dances while eyeballin' that fellow you're with. Well, all you need to do is walk right past her, let her take in a whiff of "60's mod," and watch that crestfallen look on her face. She just lost the 'mod' game.

Some of you have families, right? You probably don't have much luck driving your kids to school on your scooter. You and the wife need to hit the supermarket for a week's worth of groceries and scooters just don't seem very practical. In these cases, life forces you to bust out the Mazda or SUV. How embarrassing it's gotta be if you're driving by people who think you're just some regular ol' joe barely existing through life. Well, solve that problem with this little window decal to let the whole world know exactly what you're about:
Will be right at home next to your cartoon family decal sticker.
 With this little sticker, you'll announce your presence to the world.. After all, it's an important thing to make sure strangers know you're 'mod.' After all, why else would you walk around in a parka covered in advertisements for your favorite bands or a Union Jack pin on your lapel?

A few weeks back, there was some 'controversy' over Paul Weller and his tank-top/flip-flop look. Many of you thought, "What's the big deal? He's just relaxing and they're just clothes!" Well, for those of you who enjoy relaxing and don't think style is all that important, have I got a gift suggestion for you! Union Jack Uggs!
Lucky for you, I can't read German and I'm too lazy to find the actual link to buy these things.
After all, Mods need down time too, right? If flip-flops are an acceptable shoe, then why not Uggs? And hey... these are Union Jack Uggs! They'll go great with jeans and a parka.

Aw hell, everyone's suffering from Quadrophenia Fever lately! Well, show off your love of everyone's favorite Mod opera with this awesome tee:
Come on... it don't get more Mod than this!
Show up to that next scooter rally dressed in this and a green pair of sta-prest and I guarantee you'll still be better dressed than 70% of the people there! (Trust me, I've seen photos of enough scooter rallies these days.)

Now, this last item is on the wrong list. Do NOT avoid this but rush out now and get it if you're a dog owner or know a Mod dog owner. It's so silly, it's so ridiculous, it's so wrong... that it's right.
(Thanks go my pal Fred Eagle over at for hippin' me to a piece of Dogrophenia!)
In general, I'm not into clothing for dogs. But, in this case, I'll make an exception. Your dog will be the Ace Face mutt runnin' around the yard in this thing. And if you're hungry for mod dog puns, then the We Are the Mods Facebook page as you hooked up!

That's it for bad gifts this year. Have a GREAT CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

No comments:

Post a Comment